Andrea Best, 37 years old
All Rights Reserved. Terms and Conditions of Service. This is the decade in which to thrive. Know what you want; not just from a relationship, but from life. Live life to the fullest and pursue the kind of life you want to be living. The proverbial pool has shrunk, with more of your peers in long-term relationships or marriages, and with your social circle feeling smaller. With fewer fish to choose from — and likely a busier schedule that keeps you from leisurely bumping into Mrs. Right — now is a good time to give online dating a shot.
Singles tend to be more carefree and have more energy to date. Many single people in their 30s are working full-time jobs. Looks stop being the number one priority. Remember being in your early 20s and seeing those obvious, older dating 30s and cougars prowling around the younger crowds? After a few minutes and realizing that we were the oldest guys in the place, we left and went to a sports bar. You can still be confused about what you want. The truth is, people in their 30s may still be unsure of the kind of relationship they want. I could travel, date on my terms, and just live my own life.
AskMen may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. The links are independently placed by our Commerce team and do not influence editorial content. Your 30s are certainly not the dating wasteland that popular culture makes them out to be, but dating in your 30s does require some deliberation and effort. For whatever reason, maybe you didn't spend your 20s submerged in the dating scene — perhaps you were focusing on your career instead, or moving around a lot, or dating simply wasn't a priority during your wild, youthful partying days.
More about dating 30s:
Dating has always been an odd experience. There are rules, but nobody knows them. There are special codes, but nobody has a cipher. Yet, somehow, unless you're in your 20s, things are weirder than they've ever been. I've always felt dating was a weird experience in general, but somehow, coming back to it in the last few years feels different. I was married for several years in my late 20s, so I missed out on the earlier days of online dating sites. It was also a much more carefree time, when if you liked someone, that was enough. But now that I'm in my 30s, the rules and expectations are completely different—making it a lot harder to get back in the game. Right now, you have billions of other human beings at your fingertips through a variety of channels.
The bad news is your 20s are over. When it comes to mingling with members of the opposite sex, these two decades come with competing rulebooks. What worked for you then is probably not working for you now. In fact, what she used to see as your strengths have now become weaknesses. You need to turn your approach inside-out. Wrestling with limited responsibility while feeling overwhelmed is something that young men and women bond over and even form relationships upon. In my 20s, we sat around and wondered about the future, griped about the present and distracted ourselves along the way. Twenty-something women had less subtly nuanced expectations for how a guy should present himself, and, as guys, we were free to be easygoing optimists. The emphasis was more on being unphased by the impending pressures and less on looking like you had a perfect road map. Developing comfortable dialogue with women was all about being in the shared moment.
Once you reach 30, you've officially achieved grown-ass woman status. Woop, woop! However, there are some super weird things that come with dating after your twenty-something days are behind you. If you're Jess from New Girl, that means asking a construction worker to go as your date on a double date with the guy you've been seeing, who apparently is seeing other people. But in the real world, the weird stuff actually involves having to explain why you're single during a date, trying to actually pencil in a date when you have a killer career and family priorities, and dodging increasingly inappropriate comments about your love life from family. Here, women who've been there, done that share the strangest things that come with dating as a year-old boss lady. It's four people in a relationship, not just two. Though I've found that even people on the apps aren't always interested in serious relationships.